A Republican cowboy from Texas goes to a social function where Hillary Clinton is trying to gather more support for her nomination. Once she discovers the cowboy is a Republican, she starts to belittle him by mockingly talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As she was doing that, she kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around her head. The cowboy says, "Y’all havin’ some problem with them circle flies?"

She stopped talking and said, "Well yes, if that’s what they’re called. But I’ve never heard of circle flies."

"Well ma’am," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Hillary replies as she goes back to rambling.  But, a moment later she stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse’s ass?"

"No, ma’am," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for citizens of New York to call their Senator a horse’s ass."

"That’s a good thing," she haughtily responds and begins rambling on once more. 

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl adds, . . . "Hard to fool them flies, though."

Source: Thanks Leroy!

Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John
Edwards were flying to a convention.

Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, ‘You know, I could throw a
$1,000 bill out of the window
right now and make somebody very happy.’

Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, I could throw ten $100
bills out of the window and make
ten people very happy.’

John added, ‘That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills
out of the window and make a
hundred people very happy.’

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pi
lot, ‘Such big-shots back there.
I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people
very happy.’

A grandfather and his grandson go up in a plane with Hillary Clinton, Bill Gates, and George W. Bush.
The grandfather is the pilot.
They are going to crash and there are only 4 parachutes not 5.
Bill Gates steps up and says “I’m the richest man in the world, so I need a parachute.”
Everyone agrees so Bill Gates jumps off the plane with one of the parachutes.
President Bush comes up and says, “I’m the President of the United States, so I need a parachute.”
Everyone agrees so President Bush follows Bill Gates.
Hillary Clinton comes up and says, “I’m the smartest woman in the whole world. I need a parachute!”, and before the grandson can object, she jumps of the plane with a parachute.
There is only one parachute left.
The pilot tells his grandson to go since he’s young and hasn’t lived his life.
The grandson hands his grandfather another parachute.
The grandfather, surprised, asked where his grandson got another parachute.
The grandson replies, “You know the smartest woman in the world?

She took my backpack.”

RUDY Giuliani is no oil painting, nor is John McCain. Fred Thompson may have cracked it in Hollywood, but he’s hardly leading man material.

Barack Obama has those ears to contend with, while every time Joe Biden opens his mouth it’s like watching an old episode of Mr Ed. Even pretty boy John Edwards is starting to show signs of wear.

But according to the US’s leading radio shock jock, Rush Limbaugh, it all matters little for the male presidential candidates, because when men age they look "more authoritative, accomplished and distinguished".

What does matter, says Limbaugh, is that Hillary Clinton, who turned 60 in October, is starting to wrinkle.

So on Monday, on a radio show with an audience of 14.5 million, Limbaugh asked this question about the former first lady’s presidential prospects: "Will Americans want to watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?"

The inspiration for this misogynistic king hit, one that says much about the kind of attention Senator Clinton can expect if she eventually becomes the Democratic nominee, was an unflattering photograph of her taken on the campaign trail in freezing New Hampshire at the weekend.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Pope and Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) are on the same stage in   front of a huge crowd.
    
‘Her Majesty’ and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to   make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the
Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering   subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was impressive. But did you
know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy?  This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."
    
The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your   hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."
   
So the Pope slapped her!

Health Care

Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can
take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out
looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor says, "That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one
person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks."

A British doctor says, "In my country medicine is so advanced that we
can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have
both of them out looking for work in two weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, interjected, "You guys are way
behind. We are about to take a woman with no brains, put her in the
White House, and then half the country will be out looking for work."

Thank you Christy!

Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman!
You don’t need him anymore!
You’re a Senator from New York running for
President of the United States.
Act like one.

Bill Clinton jogging near his  in Chappaqua. But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day.

With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would cry out from the curb.

"No, Five dollars!"  back Clinton ..

This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days.
He’d run by and she’d yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he’d yell back, "Five dollars!"

One day however, Hillary decided that she  to accompany her husband on his jog! As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50  and Hillary would wonder what he’d really been doing on all his past outings.
He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the junior Senator.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual.
Sure enough, there was the hooker!

Bill tried to avoid the prostitute’s eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled…
See what you get for five bucks!?"